Moral of the Story

When I came across this quote my first response was, “Cute! It’s pithy, bitchy and just arrogant enough that a guy would drop to his knees for a woman like this” …which may be true. Lord knows I’ve played this card before and yes, it is effective. It’s no secret that men like bitches (Sherry Argov wrote a very funny book to this extent). Chalk it up to their secret, internal desires for a dominatrix…or to their overbearing mothers.

But the quote left me feeling unsettled. I mulled it over and here’s what I came up with:

I don’t think it’s fair to men.

If women want men to respect them, then creating a double standard is not the way to go about it. Telling a man that you’ll be ready in five minutes, but then keeping him waiting and guessing as to when you’re actually going to be ready, means that you are being unreliable, untruthful, and just a wee bit of an asshole. Let’s face it. If he said he was going to be home at 7pm and didn’t show up exactly then and kept you guessing as to when he would arrive–there would be hell to pay.  If men don’t know how to please women, it could be on account of double standards like these. If women want to be in a grown up relationship, where both parties are behaving as such, then taking responsibility for the part we play is much more effective than “fixing” him. Moral of the story: Bring to the relationship that which you want to receive.